Reasons Not To Apply: Why I nearly didn't take the best job of my career

If you work in an international organisation, it can be a fine balance finding the right job at the right time.  You want a job that motivates you, in a location you’re interested in and where your family can thrive.  When I was last applying for overseas roles, there weren’t many that ticked all those boxes, especially not with a five-year old in tow.  In fact, there was only one, and that was a role I’d always considered above my ceiling. 

I applied nervously, convinced I didn’t have the skills they were looking for.  It was meant to be a dummy run: dust off my application-writing and interview skills ready for the next round of jobs later in the year.  Lots of people, whose views I generally respected, told me I’d be great at the job.  I didn’t believe them.  I was petrified and I had some very good reasons why I wasn’t right for the job.

1.      Subject Matter Expertise:  The idea of a senior bureaucrat from London calling at random to hear my thoughts on local politics filled me with dread.  With hindsight, it probably said less about me and more about some of my early career “role models” – white, male, Oxbridge PPE graduates, who rather liked the sound of their own voices.  Apart from being white, I was none of those things.  Happily, I had a team of experts around me who I could turn to if needed.  It’s a great strength to recognise your limits and a huge relief to know you’re not expected to know everything. 

2.      The Cocktail Circuit:  It feels vulnerable admitting to this one.  The cocktail circuit is the bread and butter of a diplomatic life overseas, but it’s never been my comfort zone.  I can do it, but I’m not a natural and I rarely looked forward to it.  Thankfully, team leadership is much more than that.  It’s strategic direction, people management, spotting opportunities, joining dots, mentoring, managing risk, building relationships….all strong suits of mine.  Focussing on what I was good at allowed me to leave some of the cocktail parties for the colleagues who thrived on them.  

3.      Work-life balance:  Having been offered the job, I gave my would-be manager a list of logistical (and to my mind logical) reasons why I couldn’t actually do the job.  As a solo parent, I wouldn’t want to work many evenings or to travel much.  My new manager needed to know I would be less mobile (aka less good) than my predecessor.  I’ll never forget that manager’s reply:  “George, I want you for your ability to do the job, not your ability to get on planes.”  Oh.  Work-life balance wasn’t easy (when is it ever?), but I made it work.  I put a cap on the number of evenings I worked.  I travelled less than the globe-trotter in me would have liked because I prioritised family and WLB (so much of a thing for me, it’s had an acronym for years).

4.      Loneliness:  A good friend came up with this one and I love her for it.  She congratulated me on getting the job and very gently asked if I was sure I wouldn’t get lonely.  You need friends like that to ask the tough questions.  It’s true – I spent lots of time being a diplomat, lots of time being Mummy, and not as much time as I’d have liked being George.  That impacted my social life, and my mental health.  It also taught me a lot about myself and what’s important to me.  I’m a better leader and a better parent for having taken myself out of my comfort zone, and I also got better at being George. 

5.      My predecessor:  Having finally accepted the job, I still couldn’t shift the imposter feeling.  I was in awe of my predecessor, who was universally liked and respected.  On my first day in the job, I even apologised to my new team for being different to him.  It took a while before I started feeling at home in that job; when I remembered who I was and how I could use my skills and experience to best effect.  That felt amazing!  I was being me at work.

It wasn’t the easiest of rides and I often felt a fraud (both at work and at home), but I’m so pleased I threw my hat in the ring.  It may not have been my comfort zone at the beginning, but I created a new type of comfort that worked for me.  My team delivered amazing things during my time in role and I’m so proud of my legacy.  My daughter and I also had a wonderful life exploring a beautiful country and making lasting memories.

I used to think it impossible for someone like me to have the kind of career I’ve had.  Women are particularly prone to self-doubt and self-censoring – even more so if they're also part of the global majority, the LGBTQ+ community or identify as neurodivergent. 

Here are some key messages I’d like to leave with you if you ever find yourself questioning whether or not to go for something:

Don’t compare yourself to others.

Do believe those you trust when they have faith in you.

Do understand there are so many different ways to do the same job.

Do ask for adjustments.

Do throw your hat in the ring.

You’re almost certainly a more credible candidate than you think.  And many of the reasons you can think of for not applying are probably as ridiculous as mine were.  Just ask the people around you, the ones who believe in you more than you believe in yourself. 

Your future self will thank you.

I’m Georgina Furr, a former career diplomat and a qualified Executive & Leadership Coach.  I’m passionate about empowering women, neurodivergents, LGBTQ+ and the global majority to break down invisible barriers and thrive in their careers.